determined

i've been very persistent lately at getting my life together . & you see i say this but dont exactly know what it means. ive thought seriously about the things that i feel bring drama into my life (sex drugs & rock n roll ) ha.  i guess waking up drunk isnt always the best thing . i feel like things that happen should matter . but ive come to this point in my life where i just dont care. im trying really hard to keep all my thoughts together. to forget the past & move the fuck on . but just as naturally as then, i fall right back into the things that made me hate myself. where does this place me ? elimination of all these vices would leave me friendless & bored . & im not exactly sure if thats true . but , fuck. i guess what im trying to say is i need inspiration . im so drained of all my creativity & will. i just need to get my life together . i need a spark. im determined to feel GOOD again. 

to be continued ...